CN-B - unauthorised use of one of his pics
One of the wonders of celebrity unauthorised biography is the writer Chas Newkey-Burden. Whereas the Kitty Kelleys sustain an output of about one book per five to seven years, Chas snips out about half a dozen bios a year. His Amazon page is a staggering display of rush-job fecundity.
Consider. In October we have his The Wanted: The Unauthorised Biography to look forward to but not before his Dannii Minogue: The Biography, the paperback version. Simon Cowell: The Unauthorised Biography (the paperback) came out in April, before the paperback of Amy and Blake - Love is the Drug in July. That same month he pulled off the miracle of Justin Bieber: The Unauthorized Biography: a miracle because his subject is just 16. And in October, don't forget to order a copy of his Heston Blumenthal: The Biography of the World's Most Brilliant Master Chef for Christmas. Oh dear, I quite forgot - his Stephenie Meyer Queen of Twilight: The Biography paperback was issued in March; and the Kindle edition of Brad and Angelina: Truth & Lies plopped in April.
Since I have not read any of these John Blake/Michael O' Mara/Michael Joseph productions I cannot fairly assess their quality, though one Amazon reviewer of the Stephenie Meyer complains that 'much of what is contained in the book are copies of reviews of [Meyer's] various books, and extracts from the many interviews she has given (pages upon pages upon pages of reviews are reproduced in this book).'
Why is there so much critical bitchery about these days? At least Chas went to the bother.
You'd think his keyboards are sufficiently bashed already yet astonishingly he also regularly updates a lively 'philosemitic' blog called OyVaGoy - I'm afraid to say that his fanaticism for Israel is an object lesson in how wars get started and are sustained, such is the hairdryer nature of his prose. Though not Jewish himself he explains he began to identify with Israel post-9/11, having lazily sided with the Palestinians for years. Given the furious nature of his energies - not unlike those of his one-time co-author, the blessed Julie Burchill - perhaps he needed a cause to sustain the fiery thrill of venting.
I must do his horoscope.
Probably not too deep, but hey...
ReplyDeleteYour reviews are like a breath of fresh air in between bouts of slaving over a hot internet in an effort to make 1/10th of the dosh this guy pulls in. (less than)
Zombied ex.
After purusing his OyVaGoy site, you have to wonder just what is in some of those biographies (some I note produced by the distinguished London publisher John Blake whose office doors are strangely fortified by steel).
ReplyDeleteParticularly with his current post : "Israel recently tied with Canada for eighth place in a major Gallup survey to find the happiest people on earth.". Perhaps the Arab citizens of Israel were inexplicably not polled!.
Anon, do you think Chas makes pots of dosh? I reckon he gets £3-5000 advances which just about get earned back. I could be wrong, it's a free country.
ReplyDeleteI once had to threaten to sue Mr Blake when he refused to cough up my fee for rewriting one of his author's books. In those pre-internet days I faxed him the unfilled small claims court forms. I received a cheque two days later with a denunciation of my work, having raved over it first. He's a poppet. I wonder if he still has tropical fish in his office.
ReplyDeleteDunno why but this piece jus made me laugh long and hard. You're a marvellous c*nty VO.
ReplyDeleteI read the Simon Cowell book and found it quite lame. Nothing much new in it and is told in a breathlessly fawning way. N-B even thanks the people who declined to be interviewed. That's how to get on.
ReplyDeleteJustin Bieber? That book must about the same length as the average take-away menu. But less entertaining in content, methinks.
ReplyDeleteAli x
The News of the World kindly ran some extracts from the Bieber a few weeks ago - about how the poor lickle mite was sent up Canadian chimneys and forced to serenade a stuck Santa (or something) cos he was so poor; like Pip - and then they reviewed it yesterday, as per presumed agreement.
ReplyDelete